if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
this hospital has no fireball
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
