North Korea, Best Korea!
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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