apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
