Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Ketchup is God's man juice
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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