Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Life is so much better after having sex.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
