I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
