Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
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So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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