I didn't shave. On purpose
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
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Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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