Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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