she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
