so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
