Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Please, let me fuck your mom
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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