He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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