i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Drunk is not a location!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
