I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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