The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
