Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
