god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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