the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
