he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
