Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
