I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
