And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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