i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
