she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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