did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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