Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
