i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Randomize
