I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
