Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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