At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Mom said you looked used
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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