there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
