Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
