Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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