I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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