Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
