Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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