Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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