i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
