T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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