I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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