So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I just want nice things and good sex
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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