Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize