brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
