she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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