Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
