so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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