We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
