You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
