Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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