What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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