Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
where does the pee come out of this thing
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
