garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
