sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
party gras won. party gras always wins.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
