Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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