and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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