she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
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