life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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