It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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