Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize