so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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