dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
