She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
