I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
