so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
