just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize